Friday night was a mild blur of half assed plans, a splitting headache from work, and the glimmer of a whisper of some slump busting. Join me for this one regarding the reoccurring character - MysteryNurse.

Friday was Bob-a-roo's bachelor party. Shit happened and I'll leave it at that. From what I hear even more crazed bat style shit went down on the limo perusing the finest of local strip clubs (The 20's and Saries). The roast was, from my view a bust, but then again I only knew about four people in this Stoli's bar. I went home.. took a nap.. and wandered up to the 'Box for some gin. It twas'ent nye more than an hour into my gin that MysteryNurse texts me the hackneyed question "what are you doing?". Mind you earlier she was making tentative plans of me coming over - of course all pre-drinking chatter. A flicker of a pulse perhaps in this "thing".

She follows up with "I am wasted and horny come over". The Jekyl in me gives pause on the 'wasted' word - was this a ruse to make it less over for the second half? Was she truly wasted and this will be a time sink? Bah I ride out the Hyde side and hastily pay my tab.

Off into the night, across town, and eventually at her door. The moment the door opens I am aware I threw out an hour of drinking for this truly wasted girl and the ephemeral hopes of slumbbusting. Cest la vie.. let's see how this plays out - it can't be that bad. No, it's worse.

There are flashes of movement, but for the most part it is drunk-girl-101. We are outside on the patio.. then she slumps down against the door badgering me to join her. She's against the door and angled away. Eventually she makes the full transition to laying down and kicks her saddle off her third floor balcony. Old Man First Floor (OMFF) neighbor tries to fling it back up, it lands on the deck of the second floor. I offer to get it, but MN is lurching to the door. Moments pass and I hear moment on the second floor. I have a pang of guilt for OMFF - MN was keen on just chucking her butts over the edge to that patch of grass below and I hate my neighbors upstairs for doing to my bushes. I start making the calculations needed to justify staying.

As of now the conversation was peppered with insightful statements like "I don't know why I am so drunk" to the usual "I am really not like this all the time". I am starting to see bits and pieces of Cyric - Prince of Lies shining through (Forgotten Realms, Chaotic Evil, Greater Deity, challenge rating: 58). Pants on fire - two for two times you are totally like this!

Regardless we are on the couch.. she's slumped the opposite direction babbling about the aforementioned insightful statements and nothing-chatter. She's passing out.. I get to leave.. she becomes quasi lucid... I stay.. Repeat. Calculations be damned I make for the door and lock it behind me (careful to account for all my personal effects). I hear her mention she'll totally call me to hang out tomorrow, but by then I am already bounding down the stairs - too far to respond.

I walk past OMFF (still smoking), get into my car, and travel down a quite Maple Street. What the fuck. In retrospect I wonder how many guys have taken advantage of this wasted personality trait.

I send a weakly veiled email asking what this week's schedule is and perhaps we can hang out when we [read: her] are both not so wasted - just semi intoxicated.

My response today was "My birthday was pretty damn awesome. I was pretty much drunk the whole weekend and hardly bought a thing! Haha."

This is almost tipping the scales in terms of how much more I will to deal with before I just throw up my hands and say "call if you want something other than some guy who won't take advantage of you in a wasted state and destroying his evening of drinking in a bar until they chuck his ass out on the curb".