Tonight was a nice night of Mexican at pop's and then a case of millar light and bomb pops at the going away part for Margie. It was painfully sad... the party was something mom and dad would throw... I was immediately welcomes... loved for the bomb pops... and made welcomed as if I am someone who has been there a hundred times before..

The night wore on and people were picked off and went home... tears around, but I remained. Eventually people were going to bed and I was walked out... no tears except a few on my end... and about three hugs good bye and that was that. A mild promise of return and this 'was not permanent'... but i know better. I thought I had a while to ingratiate myself but alas that time has come and gone. Lord knows what ever I know or value is not reciprocated on the other end. Alas I said good bye.. shuffled off to my car.. and wonder if I made a major error in my life.

I shall have to reinvest my efforts into making myself presentable and what not for the next time she's in town... if she is ever back to Salem's Lot.

(I realized I used welcome too many times.... too hammered to care to fix).