I am not sure what's been up this last month, but it just seems to be one ever spiraling larger foul mood. Like; serially.

Pissy.. irritated.. closed up.. testie. No idea what the fuck's up in my craw, but I need to seriously get it fixed.

Sure, some can be attributed to Mother's Day, and more can be dumped on this last 'Versoin 2.4' upgrade of our alert system at work, but where the rest of of it came from I can't tell you. I know part is due to this damn Minneapolis wedding and the swirling shit fest of trying to just arrange a cadre of folks to get there, and this nebulous 'South Dakota' trip.. but errr..ugh.

Yesterday my car started acting up, but today it seems okay. So I assume that's coming down the pipe to fuck me when I least expect it. So no Surface Pro for the time being.. greaaaaaaat.

Then I saw a Microsoft technical evangelist job cropped up in the area. I looked at it, and figured I had the experience on my side for it, but after reading what other tech evangelists do I started to get super duper down on myself. I am guessing I'll be laughed out the door for not having a smart phone due to The Plan 2.1 that I put into effect a few years ago. Sure I am clawing my way debt free, but it seems a bit behind the trends to be an evangelist.

Then there's the lack of a coherent tech blog, twitter following, Microsoft MVP status, etc. I mean sure I spend an awful lot of time on dreamincode moderating, answering questions, tutorial writing, etc, but will that be enough to translate to this? I have the love of education on the tech sectors, but is that enough?

Of course there's the apprehension how much of my life will be consumed by keeping on the 'bleeding edge' of Mircrosoft's tech. Writing APIs, code plex projects, speaking engagements, etc. Honestly that all sounds like a stupid fun time - I mean shit a third of my work day is solely reading new shit going on, and testing things out all the while slogging through my actual work-work. Is someone who likes to talk tech, educate folks, and do public speaking enough to jump over the hurdle of old-man-no-smartphone?

Though the tech-evangel blogs for other companies talk about it being some sort of all consuming Orange-Lantern sort of thing. I mean way, way off the deep end.

I guess having questions like that probably 'nix me from the running, right? Who knows.. it would be nice to hit that echelon of being part of the big ol' Microsofts, but it seems my life has taken a path far off the desired track to do that.

I hope I am not selling myself short and missing this job.

Fuck this noise.