26/10: Bachelor parties,. paint, ponies, and the world series.
Oh bachelor parties. How much fun you can be. I would have to say of all the bachelor parties I have been a part of the one this last Saturday quite possibly encapsulated the wholeness of my friends. It's kinda spooky actually. Rewind a bit and let me start from the beginning. Actually, I'm going to tell you the ending and then the events leading up to it: Holy fucking shit! This is the greatest bachelor party ever!.
Circa three pm on Saturday I headed out on the dusty trail. I had to make a side stop to see someone's new bmw (and ass hat dog), but that is a story in its own right. (Actually no that's the whole story). Horseman's Park was my destination the boys were out gambling on some ponies all morning long. The sky was blue, the rain was done a day earlier, and it was about sixty degrees. What a good day for an adventure! After navigating the horse track and the shuffling un-young in the parking lot I found my buddies by sound alone. Hell yeah! The Bachelor (A) looked pretty faded. A's older brothers E (the oldest) and D (middle of the three) were into some heavy number crunching on the pony books.
Let me take an moment and state I have no fraking idea how to bet the pre-dog food. So anything I did was straight thrashing around.
Many beers later it was six pm. A few other folks peeled off E/A/C's uncle, the Fred, and one of the boys' cousins. The fourth brother (not by blood) T was dropped off earlier, and the Brothers' other cousin K was still with us. I grabbed the Mythical Creature and headed to my car. It was questionable how much money was won I broke even and was happy. The group reconvenes at the Boys' place. The drinking begins with earnest.
The Mythical Creature was the first to snap. While we waited out the rain delay for the Phillies game people were in the garage being loud (no noise complaint from the neighbors for this party!). I was in mid drink of my mountain dew when I heard the volume greatly increase and then things hitting the wall. I shrugged and turned the volume up on some random college football game. A few minutes later people are stumbling in yelling about the Creature chucking cans of paint around the garage. I shrugged again and we continued the story telling.
Minor rewind for a while we sharing stories of the Boys and their exploits in life. All of them have been told before but damn they are still funny.
Being the sober person there I was implored to get more booze. Money was extorted from those around and I went off into the night. After a bit I made my way back in with a welcoming roar and the game had started. The Phils were up and that is always good news. The Creature's unhinging was becoming more and more apparent. Crazed phone calls, stalking around, and general mayhem in his wake. I was like being on the center of a frozen lake, looking down, watching the spider web of cracks shoot out sickeningly fast from where you stand. Fascinating but a dangerous place to be.
Another associate shows up, R, and comes in yelling at the top of his lungs a the Creature for his childish acts. That settles down and the Creature is doing single legs on people, more mayhem ensues, and the game keeps going.
I made a second trip out into public with people to snag some doughs for the ladies coming over. It had to be about ten thirty or so when they came in. For some stupid reason we expected them to have ones to exchange for the twenties and tens. No such luck. Debauch occurs.
I have to say the first thirty minutes was great! I looked around the room all my bros, fists full of cash, booze in hands, the Phillies on TV in the World series, and broads there to entertain us! Straight hands down greatest moment ever. It was like a crazy vehn diagram that was labeled 'The Truth'.
Suddenly we are down to our last dollars, and E and R begin to yell at each other. Err.. what? The Creature, after thrashing around, was face down on the kitchen floor passed out to the world. Things sorta dissolve from there. The girls head out, the Phillies win, and I am wearing down on endorphins. It was exclaimed multiple times that Holy fucking shit! This is the greatest bachelor party ever! by everyone still standing.
Now to wrap this up let me explain this party had the hallmarks of EVERY OTHER day long party known to us.
1.Booze.
2.The usual suspects there.
3.Women
4.Someone becoming unhinged and causing mayhem.
5.Story time.
6.Me driving to get more booze.
7.Someone puking
8.The hour long I love you man from the lesser initiated drinkers.
9.The gut and shoulder punches.
10.Group circle clench at the ends.
11.Baseball
12.Me driving one or more people home.
13.Yelling/screaming matches.
14.Halloween talk.
15.Wall damage (a bet not the usual convent fist sized holes but the garage painting)
Probably the only thing missing was a fist fight and those can safely go to the way side.
Wow.. what a whacked out trip. It was the most epic day of the ties that bind us together possibly conceived.
That's all the glossed over fun details on request.
Circa three pm on Saturday I headed out on the dusty trail. I had to make a side stop to see someone's new bmw (and ass hat dog), but that is a story in its own right. (Actually no that's the whole story). Horseman's Park was my destination the boys were out gambling on some ponies all morning long. The sky was blue, the rain was done a day earlier, and it was about sixty degrees. What a good day for an adventure! After navigating the horse track and the shuffling un-young in the parking lot I found my buddies by sound alone. Hell yeah! The Bachelor (A) looked pretty faded. A's older brothers E (the oldest) and D (middle of the three) were into some heavy number crunching on the pony books.
Let me take an moment and state I have no fraking idea how to bet the pre-dog food. So anything I did was straight thrashing around.
Many beers later it was six pm. A few other folks peeled off E/A/C's uncle, the Fred, and one of the boys' cousins. The fourth brother (not by blood) T was dropped off earlier, and the Brothers' other cousin K was still with us. I grabbed the Mythical Creature and headed to my car. It was questionable how much money was won I broke even and was happy. The group reconvenes at the Boys' place. The drinking begins with earnest.
The Mythical Creature was the first to snap. While we waited out the rain delay for the Phillies game people were in the garage being loud (no noise complaint from the neighbors for this party!). I was in mid drink of my mountain dew when I heard the volume greatly increase and then things hitting the wall. I shrugged and turned the volume up on some random college football game. A few minutes later people are stumbling in yelling about the Creature chucking cans of paint around the garage. I shrugged again and we continued the story telling.
Minor rewind for a while we sharing stories of the Boys and their exploits in life. All of them have been told before but damn they are still funny.
Being the sober person there I was implored to get more booze. Money was extorted from those around and I went off into the night. After a bit I made my way back in with a welcoming roar and the game had started. The Phils were up and that is always good news. The Creature's unhinging was becoming more and more apparent. Crazed phone calls, stalking around, and general mayhem in his wake. I was like being on the center of a frozen lake, looking down, watching the spider web of cracks shoot out sickeningly fast from where you stand. Fascinating but a dangerous place to be.
Another associate shows up, R, and comes in yelling at the top of his lungs a the Creature for his childish acts. That settles down and the Creature is doing single legs on people, more mayhem ensues, and the game keeps going.
I made a second trip out into public with people to snag some doughs for the ladies coming over. It had to be about ten thirty or so when they came in. For some stupid reason we expected them to have ones to exchange for the twenties and tens. No such luck. Debauch occurs.
I have to say the first thirty minutes was great! I looked around the room all my bros, fists full of cash, booze in hands, the Phillies on TV in the World series, and broads there to entertain us! Straight hands down greatest moment ever. It was like a crazy vehn diagram that was labeled 'The Truth'.
Suddenly we are down to our last dollars, and E and R begin to yell at each other. Err.. what? The Creature, after thrashing around, was face down on the kitchen floor passed out to the world. Things sorta dissolve from there. The girls head out, the Phillies win, and I am wearing down on endorphins. It was exclaimed multiple times that Holy fucking shit! This is the greatest bachelor party ever! by everyone still standing.
Now to wrap this up let me explain this party had the hallmarks of EVERY OTHER day long party known to us.
1.Booze.
2.The usual suspects there.
3.Women
4.Someone becoming unhinged and causing mayhem.
5.Story time.
6.Me driving to get more booze.
7.Someone puking
8.The hour long I love you man from the lesser initiated drinkers.
9.The gut and shoulder punches.
10.Group circle clench at the ends.
11.Baseball
12.Me driving one or more people home.
13.Yelling/screaming matches.
14.Halloween talk.
15.Wall damage (a bet not the usual convent fist sized holes but the garage painting)
Probably the only thing missing was a fist fight and those can safely go to the way side.
Wow.. what a whacked out trip. It was the most epic day of the ties that bind us together possibly conceived.
That's all the glossed over fun details on request.
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