Step out the front door like a ghost; Into the fog where no one notices The contrast of white on white.



After a shitty day of chillis, a crashed database server (due to hard drives being filled up because someone didn't give share access to a folder on the last server upgrade), and my custom alert form taking seven seconds to process each nine hundred items thus timing out, a trip back to work because a power saving feature kicks my pc offline, a nap, and drinking... I am left with a sense of wonder and awe at the world.

Cara's last day came and went with a crazy Friday that tapered down to a trickle. Glimpets was there, as was Paul the Cook.. hilarity ensued and eventually everyone peeled off to go to bed. I am facing a six-thirty am call time (less than three hours away), but distraught one of my tribe is moving on.

Let's not think this is purely sad thing - more like bitter sweet. Another person I am emotionally invested in leaves the reservation for fame and riches. One would think I would build a callous to these events, but no.

Either way - the last song - BoysIIMen - "It's So hard to Say Goodbye" with Scoot and Cara doing a nice couples slow dance in a darkened bar with only the glare of GoldenTee and the jukebox to be their light.

Hopefully she finds her niche and strikes it rich out in the south Floridian area. All I can think about is the years of hanging out and learning about her world and her aspirations... trying to more programmatic and objective way to cut her into her desired field... success and riches.

Either way - another alumni out the door and the tribe fractures. Hopefully she finds what she is looking for, does it with class, keeps above the cess, and eventually swings by.

Time to refocus on those who have come back in to town and intrude on their lives if only to make my life a bit more warm.

Fucking mornings.


And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.