Shockingly it has been five years... well shy under five years since Mojo passed to wait for me in the clearing (as Stephen King has put it)... I cannot say I am shocked I am still here... there were times, oh there were times... but I have weathered them all. I am left with doubt and unanswered questions...

Am I what I should have been?
Are those around up to her standards?
Have I made (mostly) right choices?

Would she be proud?

I would have to think that most would be in the positive... without the need for constant group interaction I have had to fall back on small victories and devices of my own lest a, as was quoted in "Serenity", a bullet find my brain pan and go squish. I saw my lot with the same constant and decided they were good to sustain themselves. I did not add much to the group nor have a swaying opinion so I struck out on my own. Carved out a new tree house of folk and brought a few kicking and screaming with me... I think I this was a good idea.. I have met many along the way who have become long time friends as well as found a niche that sustains me. Hopefully Pops sees it in a similar light and one day maybe he might ask the highest of questions - why?.

Cest la vie.. I am mostly out of debt.. sustain myself.. have not had crazy complications or expenditures. A good job that respects me and pays the bills... even a small cult following at the bar and on dreamincode. It's not an amazing life but one well sustained. I only hope I can clean up my act to see the cross over point were the years gone equal the years gone by since... I am uncertain who I may be or what may have fallen me, but it's worth a shot sticking around for it.

God willing I can help out Lori enough to make a profit for her and her kin and keep the doors open. Ha.